So, as you guys remember, a few weeks ago I had to go to the Grumpyville misdemeanor court & entertainment venue for a speeding ticket that wasn't even mine.
This was the other notable case of the day:
Judge Judy: “Okay, next case is Tom Collins, warrant for missing a court appearance for DUI.”
Clerk: “This one is a dial in, your Honor. I’ll put on speakerphone.”
Mr. Collins: “Uh, hello, this is Tom Collins.”
Judge Judy: “Hi, Mr. Collins. Okay, you are charged with having missed a court appearance last week for a DUI charge. How do you plead to the charge of not being in court?”
Mr. Collins: “Uh, I was in jail, your honor.”
Judge raises her eyebrows, looks at her clerk.
Clerk (frantically typing on computer): “Um… yeah, it shows he was incarcerated effective 2 weeks ago.”
Judge Judy: “So…. are you still in prison?”
Mr. Collins: “Yes, your honor, do you need to verify with the guard here?”
Judge looks at a paper the clerk hands her.
Judge Judy: “No… so it says you’re in prison now for 3 other DUI’s?”
Mr. Collins: “Yes, that’s why I couldn’t be at the court appearance for the 4th.”
Judge: “Okay. So, what I’ll do is I’m going to drop the warrant, and dismiss the charge of missing the court appearance. The fine for the DUI is $7500. How long are you in jail for?”
Mr. Collins: "Until May 18, 2034, your honor.”
Judge Judy: “All right... I’ll suspend the payment for $7500 until June, 2034. So after you’re released from custody, within 2 weeks you’ll need to call the court here to check in and set-up a payment plan.”
Mr. Collins: “Thank you, your honor.”
Judge Judy hung up, looked at the clerk. Clerk shrugged her shoulders.
Judge Judy: "NEXT!"
Interesting. It seems that the only way of dealing with repetitive DUI offenders is to bang them up for long custodial sentences, preferably before they kill or maim someone. The point was made very well n George V Higgins’ 1986 novel “Imposters”..
ReplyDelete2034, all I am thinking is there is a victim. Alcohol is poison.
ReplyDeleteIn 2034 all $7500 will get you is a McDonald's combo meal, anyway.
ReplyDeleteThe Scales of Justice are occasionally out of balance. What are the chances that Mr. Collins's case file will be lost in The Cloud by 2034 or unable to be retrieved by Microsoft Office 4,700?
ReplyDeleteWe need to quit treating criminals as a source of revenue.
ReplyDeleteWe are not. We are using financial penalties to try and convince the criminals we really don’t them doing that. We would be just fine if they stopped and had to pay nothing for committing no crime.
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