Sunday, May 30, 2010

Stereotypes

I hate them.

There are stereotypes about religions, races, ethnicities, doctors, nurses, etc. And they're usually WRONG.

BUT

When I get called into the hospital on a weekend, to see a guy in his 40's.

Who's still living with his mother.

Who brings in Dungeons & Dragons handbooks to read.

And the complete "Star Trek - Deep Space 9" collection on DVD.

And sets up some Star Wars action figures on the bedside table.


Then, dude, I'm reminded that all stereotypes, somewhere along the line, have some basis in fact. Even if it's just one person. Like you.

Personally, I think Boba Fett would be more likely to kick your ass than think you're cool.

And yes, ladies, believe it or not, he IS available.


Addendum- June 2, 2010. I had no idea how many nerves this post would touch, and am genuinely sorry. No offense was intended. Please see my comment below for more details.

49 comments:

Jules said...

I bet he was good-looking too. With a clear completion. And stylish clothes.

Old MD Girl said...

OOOH!! Does he have a kick ass comic book collection too?? Sounds like a catch!

Anonymous said...

So what's wrong with him? You're the neurologist!

The Mother said...

I just found out that my son's college has both a Quidditch team and a MTG team. He somehow thought that was really cool.

Just call me Geek Mom.

RP said...

OMG! I have encountered this pt once or twice before. :-/

C. said...

Im available!

Jackie said...

I may have occasionally dated this person...

Just once...

Never again

*runs away scared*

xx
Jaxs

DungeonMaster said...

hey can you tell me whether it was the players handbook or the monster manual. both are good reads when you are board. and my nickname in college was Chewy.

Anonymous said...

Many stereotypes do have some truth in them. The problem with stereotypes is when we use them to determine who we think someone is. For instance, if you told me that you knew a man I should meet and told me that he played dungeons and dragons with his buddies once a week my reaction would be "I bet he's a poor dresser and has lousy social skills." I might be right, but it's wrong to think that I can KNOW what someone is like based on a stereotype.

binkRN said...

We have a patient who is in his late 50's, always brings his mom with him. he's a frequent flyer.
Gagged recently when I learned that she lotions his feet nightly, and then casually made a comment to me that he may be having trouble with the bathroom because his "shorts aren't the cleanest". ***Gag, hack, cough, sputter***

Parchment said...

I never thought the 'Trekkie' stereotype was true, but it is: I met the man at my university's anime club. Overweight, neckbeard, huge Starfleet logo on his laptop, wouldn't stop talking about giant robot shows, and stared at the female member's chests all the time. A real winner, I wish I could be so cool.

Hudson said...

Sounds like a lot of my friends. Believe it or not, guys like that actually make good husbands, at least mine did. :)

Anonymous said...

I am a fan of your blog, it provides
me with a much needed laugh every day.
However as a mother of an 18
year old with Aspergers-Autism
Spectrum Disorder, I would not not
be surprised if my son lives with me
When he is 40, especially if they keep
cutting funds for group homes. If he had to go
The hospital he would bring his
Nietendo DS and his Animee CD's. These
are the things that are familar
to him and the things that help reduce
His anxiety. Not all disabilities
Are obvious, some like my son's
Just make him seem "strange"
To those who don't know the
whole story.

Anonymous said...

just add water!

Don said...

I'm in my fifties, am still a big fan of D&D, Doctor Who, cats, fantasy and medieval miniatures, as well as model aircraft. But there are a few differences:
I've been married to a wonderful woman for over 30 years, and I work as a contract mechanical designer. She has similar interests, although she is more into Star Trek than I am, but we are both space junkies.
These activities help keep me from falling into the temptations to drink or fool around on the road, unlike many of my peers.
However, Star Wars? Bleech!

Shiny Nurse said...

I have one of those on my ward right now.

Albinoblackbear said...

Were the action figures still sealed in their original packaging??

If not, he isn't really *that* into it.

Chrysalis Angel said...

Thankfully, I've been scooped up and rescued! :)

Magdalene said...

It's guys like that who give geeks like me a bad name. (I refuse to let my kids still live with me beyond college. I have to save my money for my Doctor Who collectables.)

Rescuedog said...

Crap. I think my niece is dating him.

RSDS said...

Don @ 3:47 AM
Are you, or have you ever been, in the S.C.A.?

Moose said...

I'll never forget the guy who put up a personal ad saying his "ideal woman" was someone who loved the original Battlestar Galactica, he didn't care what they looked like.

Then he turned away women who did respond because they were "too fat and ugly."

Anonymous said...

"That shows what YOU know. Why would I even WANT to hang out with a bad guy like Boba Fett, you nerf herder? You'd need a Headband of Intellect to get your intelligence score up to 3."

CrazyNewt said...

Come on, man. He HAD to put the figurines there. Who ELSE was gonna check underneath the bed for him?

I'll have you know goblins can hide under there. And while they're not the worst things to be afraid of, 1d6 damage is still something to be afraid of!

(Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to work a DS9 reference in there... having never seen the show... I'm only a level 3 geek, apparently)

terri c said...

OF COURSE he's available.

I really enjoy being single...

Don said...

RSDS, I was involved briefly with the SCA many years ago, but dropped out of it for two reasons.
First was the fact that they insisted that guys had to be fighters, which would not have been safe because of a medical condition I have.
Second, IMHO, the SCA glamorizes the Middle Ages. I am a student of the period, having read hundreds of books on the period and taken several undergrad and graduate classes. The period, especially the Byzantines, is fascinating, but it was a nasty, brutal time.
Oh, and in D&D,I like to play nasty, city burning mages in games such as Baldurs Gate and Neverwinter Nights.
Nothing like a volley of Meteor Swarms coming down on a nest of kobolds...LOL

Anonymous said...

Dr. G, I know you don't practice in San Antonio, TX...but it is where my nephew lives with his Mummy, my oldest sibling. Maybe he was visiting your town? But he is not as wierd as some...in addition to the usual stuff outlined in our post, he does own a perfectly good selection of normal hetrosexual porn and PLEASE don't ask me how I know. It is still too painful to dwell on.

Pattie, RN

Jules said...

Don, well now we're all wondering what medical condition you have...

fionacrowls said...

I had my response all planned out but then "anonymous" wrote exactly what I was going to.
It sounds very much to me like he has a high functioning kind of autism like aspergers. I have 2 sons diagnosed with this and they need their "geeky" things with them because different environments and situations can freak them out because they are unable to predict outcomes.
It's hard to read that knowing that even medical professionals are judgemental when a person doesn't fit the "normal" mould.
However,I frequently laugh at you blog. This one was just a little to close to home :)

Anonymous said...

Lots of those folks around. Many work in IT (personal observation). Perhaps they have undiagnosed Asperger's or other ASD. These people need help, not pity.

Verification word "stont" - similar to something many of these people might need in later years if they don't get help.

Lyn said...

Dr. Grumpy, was this man being a problem in any way at all? I'm quite saddened at the idea that your entire post is picking on someone merely because they have a passion for Star Trek and D&D.

I am a 34 year old, married woman who is a proud geek. I have played RPGs since I was a child and even run a business based on my love of all things geeky. While I left home at 14 years old due to a terrible home life, I do have a friend that I've know since that same year who still lives at home with his mum, & will do so until the day she dies, and as they are happy about this I see nothing wrong with it. What right does anyone have to judge?

I'm very disappointed in your blog post. I can't understand how you could be so bigoted :(

Emma said...

Lighten up everyone, walking into a room to find someone who's fun enough to bring their special collectibles is a gift on any day, not an object of derision.

On a rough on-call day, people like these remind you of why you're in the medical profession.

Dr. G., you're my hero on rough days when I'd far rather be at home with the family instead of listening to one. more. problem.

Thanks for giggles, laughs, and the OMG, that's my patients!

ausduck said...

My hubby was a D&D geek when at school. Of course, that was not disclosed until after the contract was signed lol

And he's graduated to Warhammer and WoW. *sigh*

But he found a mate of the opposite sex, so I suppose it's not all bad news. But even he would object to Star Wars figures by the bedside lol.

Anonymous said...

Dr Grumpy is a very talented individual with a knack for finding the humour in unpleasant situations. However, I have to admit that I was genuinely surprised by this post. It came across as cheap, easy joke.

Just because you can make fun of this man, doesn’t necessarily mean that you should

I think that a Neurologist (hardly a jock-ish speciality) who passes his time reading up on naval history and making posts on his personal web log would think twice before looking down his nose at someone else’s geeky past times.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Good point, and well written.

I apologize to those I've offended. I am genuinely sorry. I meant no harm.

But for those of you who think I DON'T understand what it's like to have an autism-spectrum disorder child- you have no idea how well I DO understand that. We've come to accept the fact that one of our kids will likely be with us for a long time to come.

Anonymous said...

Never a role-playing person, but I love DS9 with a passion that is well, obsessive. Also Dr Who, the new BSG, and am a huge ST: TNG fan too.

Am also a burlesque performer who is generally considered rather attractive... in fact there are quite a few of us who love all these things but don't live with our parents or fit the stereotype :)

ERP said...

I think I know that guy from High School. Not that I was in the D and D club or anything....cough cough

Iheartmygeekybf said...

I LOVE MY GEEK! He's amazing in bed and he super smart. Maybe not the most social guy around, but he is still wonderful!

Sandy in Pa said...

Doc, sometimes you hit it right on the head,and folks took it wrong. Usually it is because of someone in their family. I know i was a tad, i said tad bit surprised with this one. I also have a 11 year old grandson with aspergers. He is absolutely brilliant i even doing calculus already, but can not even zip his coat right yet. He talks and laughs non stop and personally, i wish i could be him for a day. Yes, they have their quorks and self absorbed facinations and talk non stop, but guess what??He is happy. Now i am going nuts cause he wants to be a doc and work with Gram. Good lord i will have to take ear plugs when he does.So...maybe next time doc, over look this stuff...no charge for this RN consult haha....still love ya doc!!!

Anonymous said...

Sandy in PA's grandson sounds EXACTLY like my youngest, except he's 12 and is not on the spectrum, although just barely. He is the happiest, funniest kid and brings me so much joy (except when he's talking so much my ears start to bleed). I wouldn't mind if he lived with me til he's 40, except for the whole bleeding ear thing.

Jen said...

I can maybeeee understand the books and dvd's....but action figures on the bedside table? Wow.

6 years in nursing & I have yet to see that. Plenty of stuffed animals though & I don't work with children.

Sabinal said...

As a former comic shop chick, this is so true. Anyone who's upset must be in some major denial; I knew at least 5 people like this. Good people, but geeks. Heck I consider myself a geek and Dr. G has it right on the money.

Dr Grumpy ROCKS!!! :) said...

GET OVER IT, PEOPLE!!! Stereotypes are here for a reason. People ARE like the stereotype in real life, that's how we got them in the first place.

Not ALL blondes are dumb, not ALL guys are womanizers, not ALL smarties are geeky, not ALL blacks are criminals, not ALL whites are rednecks, not ALL Jews are cheap, not ALL Asians drive bad, not ALL Mexicans sneak over the boarder, not ALL Italians have big families (and so on) .....but enough of each of the stereotypes exist, so they persist. And they ARE funny.

I am sure everyone falls under one stereotype or another. We should all be enlightened enough to laugh at ourselves.

melsmarsh said...

LOL, I gotta love it.

I think people need to be less sensitive.

I'm 28 years old new reader to Dr. Grumpy (I found out a few days ago). I have Aspergers. I adore Star Trek (hate Star Wars though). If I was in hospital, I would love someone to bring me some DVDs to pass the time. Not ST:DS9, maybe seasons of TNG or ENT if the hospital didn't have cable. Or Red Dwarf. I already have one of the movies on my ipod which I was listening to when I was waiting for my neurologist once.

I would use my laptop so I could continue my online RPGs although if I had friends visit me, I wouldn't be surprised if there was some D&D being played. ;)

I don't live with my mother (although both of my parents live with their mothers) and am married. I'm also not overweight either, but most of my geeky friends always laugh at their stereotypes so I think this is quite funny.

PS, Don, what SCA group where you with that stated all men had to be fighters? I've been in since 1998 and I've never heard any of that. I've been in three "kingdoms." I'm also unlikely to ever become a heavy fighter since I'm sure no one would want an epileptic to risk doing anything that potentially dangerous, particularly if it is heavy rather than fencing.

Anonymous said...

I'll belatedly add a comment to note that the largest sci-fi memorabilia collections I encounter on a regular basis are also in doctor's offices. They belong to the doctor. One room is Star Wars, one is Star Trek. He, by the way, is a well-respected spine surgeon, and no, he's not an independent practitioner.

I'm always torn--on the one hand, enjoy your life, but on the other, I wouldn't want to hear about my impending paralysis while I'm face to face with a life-size cardboard cutout of Mr. Spock. (Yes, there is one there.)

Anonymous said...

I'm a little late to comment, but I can't believe some of the people who are upset by this.

They've said they read this blog on a regular basis and laugh at it, but all of a sudden they get offended by this. It was never said that this guy has an autism spectrum disorder like some of these people have said their kids have. Sometimes people just fit stereotypes and it's funny.

I'm sure these same people who are upset about this post have laughed hysterically at a post where Dr. Grumpy has written about something such as an Alzheimer's patient that said or did something unintentionally funny that would normally be embarrassing, but I bet they saw nothing wrong with that. Sure, it's ok for them to laugh at someone else's misfortune, but they get all upset when something gets posted that reminds them of their own misfortune. *cough*hypocrites*cough*



L.

Damon said...

It's Craig, right? Craig's the one who sounds like he could be a touch on the spectrum.

Anyway, it could be worse. I mean, DS9 fans are obviously more well-adjusted than other trekkies.

SpecialK said...

Agh so a few things.

1. Just because you're geeky, weird, or do not fit a norm does NOT automatically mean you have autism/aspergers/a disorder. That's an insult to anyone who is really in to that sort of thing. There are some people who really are just socially weird as a result of their upbringing. Sometimes it has nothing to do with a brain/mental/personality disorder. Why can't someone just be weird without someone else having to slap a label on it? AND PLEASE do not twist my words to make it seem like I am saying: People with Autism/Aspergers do not really have it. I AM NOT SAYING THAT. I am simply saying, SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST WEIRD. It's funny. I have friends who are EXACTLY like how Dr. Grumpy described this guy to the T. They have no personality/mental condition what so ever. They are just weird (weird is not meant to be a negative description)

2. I think EVERYONE seemed to have focused SO MUCH on how THEY FEEL and who THEY KNOW with [insert condition here] and had to interject their own personal life story with slight twist--obviously to fish for an apology from Dr. Grumpy... that they missed the whole reason why this is funny: The guy was much older, living with his mom, and surrounded by his figurines. That's the epitome of the stereotype. That's why it was funny.

3. Dr. Grumpy is a neurologist (or so he claims) ... He studies the brain. He's met many many patients with different conditions as a result of brain abnormalities. I am sure if he realized that this man had a particular condition he would not be posting it on his blog.


I am not disappointed by your post the least bit.

You are right, stereotypes are based off of some factual information. And stereotypes are NOT always negative.

Would you rather Dr. Grumpy be politically correct ALL of the time?

There's always someone that has to complain and interject with some sort of personal story so that they could hear an apology. Boo.

Viking Male said...

I am 41, Married for 15 years and been with my wife for 17 years. We have 2 wonderful children. My wife has a bachelors of nursing. I study martial arts, am a cook and have a comic book collection that started when I was 4. I have been playing Dungeons and Dragons since I was 12, and I have seen every episode of every Star Trek tv show and movie many more times than once. I also write for the D&D companies. I left home when I was 17 and have had a job since I left home and never took money from the Government and have voted every year. Got my licence when I was 17 and a car soon after. Started kickboxing when I was 16 too. Got tired of my geeky glasses and got laser surgery when I was 22. Started to body build when I was 14. Didn't want to look like a geek. Joined the reserves when I was 17 as well. I have always been a scifi and fantasy kind of guy from the days of watching reruns of the 60's Batman and Get Smart on tv to Babylon 5 in the 90's and Supernatural today :)

 
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