THINGS I LEARNED FROM DR. GRUMPY
1. Never let your daughter put hair clips on a dog.
2. If you change your script from ‘Midrin’ to ‘Morphine’, spell it right.
3. There’s no such thing as “a little brain dead”.
4. Hitting your head repeatedly on a police car windshield does not impress girls.
5. Never disimpact yourself with a toothbrush.
6. Don’t go for coffee while your spouse is having a stroke.
7. Never bring a scale on a cruise ship.
8. Your health insurance company DOES NOT have your best interests at heart.
9. Never volunteer to do the back-to-school shopping.
10. The Wii Fit trainer is a jerk.
11 Diet Coke is a food group.
12. Never call your neurologist at night unless your brain fell out.
13. Your GPS system isn’t perfect.
14. Your neurologist is NOT the information booth.